Why Is This Here?

Or:

Novels

Samples from the five fantasy novels I have written. And of course, the inevitable attempt to extract money from you. Bloody websites

York Guide

A guide to York, the half arsed city. Discover how to avoid ever going down the Shambles, which statue shows the Emperor Constantine looking like Kenneth Williams, why the Jorvic Centre smells of poo and what the Hand of Monkgate symbolises. (Answer: God alone knows). Also step outside the city centre to explore the cinematic heritage of Nestle Rowntrees, the secret Windmill of Holgate and the conundrum which is York’s Millennium Bridge

Drawings

Blog

Recently revived to universal despair. Stay tuned for the usual ill-informed pieces on politics, art and football before I get bored of it again

Assorted Gibberish

Poetry, shot stories, screenplays... All genres attempted and generally thrown away in disgust after three weeks

Photos

For when words aren’t dreadful enough. Includes a suspected Hobbit Hole in Wales, Tupac Shakur striking in Aberyswyth, a large hole in Corfe Castle, a sheep squat/crack den in the Lake District, cathedrals appearing through the trees and in HSBC banks, and something scary in Dalby Forest. Plus lots of big big mountains to bulk things out.

Assorted Writings Which Should Probably

Have Stayed Buried In My Drawer

Artwork created through Daz Studio, thus circumventing a total inability to paint or draw. Images of drunks, birdwatchers, geeks and more drunks

Get In Touch

Email your own stories. Email suggestions. Email threats. I’m just lonely

Teraf

A meticulous, ongoing background to my novels. Or possibly: O what a great mind is hear o’erthrown

University Diaries

Sex & drugs & rock ’n‘ roll at Warwick University. Minus the sex and, technically, the rock ’n‘ roll